All of us, at some point in our lives carry finished relationships, relationships weights.
It is usually a great love but it can also be a friend or even a family member and we have them with us every day to influence our thoughts, decisions, our dreams, in short everything! The problem, of course, is not the relationship, not even the former lover, friend, but how we let ourselves be defined by the past.
We owe it to ourselves to break free. "Forget it", "get over it now" our friends usually say… but it is not so simple and it does not happen from one moment to the next. But it is definitely possible.
The first step is to want to break free. There are many reasons that keep us captive in such a situation. Maybe we are afraid to make important decisions, maybe we want to go back to some emotions that it gives us to fill our daily lives, maybe we avoid avoiding to get back in the game and therefore get hurt again. We must therefore acknowledge the usefulness of this attachment to the past. We believe that something offers us, somehow serves us and so we justify it to ourselves. In order to be free we must first decide that this is the best for us.
Start recording your thoughts. Write with honesty and acceptance, without censorship, without filtering or making second thoughts. Write whatever comes to your mind about what is holding you back and you will begin to notice patterns in your thoughts, in your behaviors in what trigger reactions on your part. When you recognize them you will be able to change them.
The stories we tell ourselves are always from our point of view and so it should be. But when these stories do not help us in our daily lives, maybe it's time to challenge them. To get rid of the weight-bearing relationships of our lives we need to take a distance and rewrite this story from a different perspective. Another perspective can give a different color and a lighter feeling and reduce the effect it has on us.
Every relationship, even those that ended badly, serves a purpose. It's a lesson for the future. Let's try to discover this lesson and thus give a positive dimension to the old history. Instead of focusing on the negative, let's look at the positive: we have learned to be stronger, more patient, we have learned new behaviors or we appreciate small joys, etc.
As we break free from our old relationship, it is time to envision what our happiness will be like without it. Once you have clarified the vision of our future life without clinging to our weights it is easier to make decisions and make moves that will move us forward.
Finally let's let go of the high expectations for the movies. Many times our expectations hold us captive in the past. Expectations for an unrealistic happiness and perfection, for situations cut and sewn to our measures. There it will help us once again to write down our thoughts as this way we will be able to locate and manage them.
Releasing is painful and time consuming but it is a pity to risk losing new exciting opportunities in our lives, new routes and trips because we do not fit together with all the luggage we carry. Let's get rid of them!
