How many times have you thought, said or heard your dear friends say: I lost myself, I was not myself when we were together, I stopped seeing my friends, I stopped my hobbies.

Have you noticed how when you fall in love in a relationship you "get out" of everything else you love, including yourself?

How many times have you thought, said or heard your beloved friends say: I lost myself, I was not myself when we were together, I stopped seeing my friends, I stopped my hobbies.

Or maybe you said after the end of a relationship: I feel like myself again, I was sad, but at the same time I feel relieved / relieved, I started my gym and my favorite activities again, I finally found my girlfriends again!

If you answered Yes, do not worry it happens to the best. It is really impressive if you think that we voluntarily give up everything we love and did, together with ourselves, our identity, while these are exactly what he noticed, found attractive and fell in love with the person we are in a relationship with. And then we wonder what went wrong. Let's say here that this is not a female privilege and it happens to everyone regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

But what can I do about it, you will wonder as a sufferer. Self-knowledge and self-observation are the first steps. Do you know what you love to do, what makes you feel joy and satisfaction, what puts you in a state of Flow? You have spent many years to shape your personality and discover what you like, what makes you, what makes you happy. It could be painting, Pilates, photography, walking with friends, your job, charity, your dog.

Can you name them? This is a good practice at any stage of our lives, to know exactly what pleases us, but even more so when we start a new relationship in love and excited. So what makes us happy and fills us, what we have learned over the years and incorporated into our lives, we abandon it by putting someone else in the center of our universe and loading him with the responsibility, the weight, to make us happy. And when that does not happen, frustration and whining come along and we wonder: What went wrong, what did I do wrong?

It is not the role and responsibility of the other to make us happy, this is something we must do for ourselves
As much as you want to dive enthusiastically into your new relationship, to spend every minute together, to be the focus of your life and daily life, make sure you keep balance. Schedule the activities you love, set aside time and space for yourself, and encourage your partner to do the same. So when you are together you will not only have interesting things to say and share, but you will long for each other. In addition, when we stop waiting for others to make us happy, they usually surprise us and exceed our expectations!

Whether you are in a new relationship, married with children, or you are single, honor the wonderful responsibility of making yourself happy and being YOU. Your true self is the wonderful gift you give to those around you!